so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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