she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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