I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
