and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
This is classic penis vs brain.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
