It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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