Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
