Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
