This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I think my moral compass just broke
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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