The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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