Got a toothbrush?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
