Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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