I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
