So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
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He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
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I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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