They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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