How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
