I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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