I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
