listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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