So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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