Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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