it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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