I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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