so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
