im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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