did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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