Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
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I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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