see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
