is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Your cock deserves a montage
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
