we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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