i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
