2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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