After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
