Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
