he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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