I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just gargled with NyQuil
Dicks are not precious.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
