i think i have two assholes
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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