is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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