Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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