This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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