why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
