i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
