i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
