I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
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We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
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I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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