He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
