Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
