Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
