plz talk dirty to me
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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