he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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