so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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