I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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