it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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