yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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