The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
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The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
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I think weed is turning my hair brown
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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