look no pants
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
false alarm. still invincible.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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