i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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