Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
