ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
