omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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