last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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