He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
