your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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