I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
